3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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