i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize