Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
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I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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