"it" just moved
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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