It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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