They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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