The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize