idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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