just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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