I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize