Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
soo... how was my night?
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