I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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