She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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