the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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