you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
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She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
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No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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