How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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