oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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