I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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