I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize