i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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