Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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