I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize