So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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