You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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