john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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