last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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