I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize