I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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