Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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