Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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