hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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