Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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