Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize