She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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