Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am

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  (513): Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am http://tfl.nu/6qjs
  Replies (7) Good night (2003) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.

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  (509): My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment. http://tfl.nu/j2q1
  Replies (9) Good night (5391) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.

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  (925): I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/g61c
  Replies (8) Good night (904) Bad night (3350) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.

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  (256): I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you. http://tfl.nu/8mod
  Replies (12) Good night (3615) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.

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  (402): Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions. http://tfl.nu/bksd
  Replies (14) Good night (825) Bad night (3736) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.

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  (727): josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry. http://tfl.nu/3vhb
  Replies (6) Good night (2707) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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  (631): Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes? http://tfl.nu/b80v
  Replies (6) Good night (2084) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree

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  (401): i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree http://tfl.nu/su4s
  Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.

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  (803): My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3the
  Replies (4) Good night (1424) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.

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  (519): He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire. http://tfl.nu/chwr
  Replies (11) Good night (727) Bad night (1032)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1500) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!

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  (505): This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want! http://tfl.nu/7h8o
  Replies (3) Good night (379) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even

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  (757): Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even http://tfl.nu/st9j
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...

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  (617): A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain... http://tfl.nu/gy86
  Replies (4) Good night (921) Bad night (267) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.

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  (425): I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/3psv
  Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt

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