Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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