theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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