More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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