If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize