Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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