I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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