can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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