I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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