the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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