In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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