My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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