i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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