dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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