He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
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My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
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I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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