she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize